Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Alison's Wonderland Chapter 2

Her alms of despair,
Remained a forgotten heir,
She had risen Not the man,
She had risen
As her Woman.
And in one last haul,
she broke loose of the manacles,
That had bound her to her womb.
She chose to bear her child in her mind,
Sibling to her soul.
And He touched her temple once,
He who gave it light,
In his eyes she saw the ocean beyond,
In his hands the rings of Light.
Yet Human He was, not mere Man, --- The one tangible door.
She breathed him in, possessing inside,
Close to her heart, close to her core.
He breathed her out, liberation to the air,
Rippling against a mirage austere,
And their lives respired anew,
And yet...the ghouls little knew...

It was very out of the blue. In fact blue would be an understatement. There was lots, and I mean LOTS of red around. I guess all the red enhanced the blue-y feeling...upto a certain extent! Both are complementary colors,so they probably complement each other. ..
Whatever! His name was Dhruv. Dhruv, the only owner of a black leather jacket at Bluevale High (uniforms at our school is an accessory to the rest of the clothing system. Everyone has their own boots, belts, and jackets, not to mention fancy jewelleries, and I'm not talking about the female community alone, mind!) Dhruv, the guy whose after-school activities was a topic of much speculation, and pretty soon, coming up with more and more innovative and hence, more and more absurdly bizarre ideas for spying and keeping tracks of him became everyones after-school activities at Bluevale. Not that lunch time was wasted or anything.Dhruv was a jerk-the-head-to-ask-someone-to-get-out-his-way, and noncommittal, and cold kid.Oh and of course, he was very,very,and I mean,like, 'beat the heat with him and get hotter' kinda cute!Extremely handsome!It was a hearsay fact that he was mindblowing when he did speak,...on some rare occasion.But what he could speak of was beyong imagination for people like me.He never spoke to his admirers, and we had suspicions whether he did that on purpose to watch the circus of both males and females over him. Well, I tell you, it sure as hell did work!
He had joined our school mid-august of my 10th grade. I had just one class in common with him. Physics. And strangely enough, he was brilliant. Strange because it just didnt go with his highwayman, super cool, image. He just didnt fit in with the nerds category, like, Milan, whose only distinction and superiority, I find besides studying, is in his tolerance towards all the oil he applies to his hair and all the severe abiding of the school dress code. Not one button out of place! Is that even humanely possible! Doesn't he like ever tear one button, say, in his hurry to get back to his books or something nerdy like that!?
But not only was Dhruv smart,he was ,actually serious about the physics craps. Well,so was I. But I wasn't a cool kid like him. I was a loner. I had to study to keep things cool at the house. But I hated it. I loved physics. But that was about it. I hated doing homework .It wasnt that I hate doing works, I just hated doing works at home for some bozos at school. I would read up all the physics books beforehand,but when the teach would assign homeworks on the same chap.,I tended to think of the most rebellious things to destroy the system. And that got me nowhere. I was still a loner. And life was a one-man show for me....ok,one-girl show. I would read,study,go swimming, once in a while, and surf the net ,twice in a while. And at school,I'd study.
The girls, that remained,after Trisha's gang had alienated me, were nice to me. But that was the problem. When people are nice to you,even after knowing you for about five years at least, you know they're not looking to get any closer with you. Its called being formal. And asking you to be formal too. And artificial. I go with it. And all that results from it is a strong disregard for their niceness. Hell with them. Well, the closest thing to a best friend I have is probably the five year old next door. But more than the little boy, I talk to their tree. It has a very loyal look about it. Cant explain it. So dont ask.
One day the Physics teacher, was deriving some equations on the board, from thermodynamics, and I was drooling and doodling in my notebook.
"Dont worry,you have just two more years of this shit."
And I practically fell off my chair!
But it was too late .The teacher had turned around. Apparently I had "huh"ed pretty audibly. Damn! I was just getting cozy. And that derivation would've covered the rest of the period,of what was left of it,that is...
Once,the man had resumed his illegible scrawling and hypnotizing scraping noise, angrily,I turned around to give the peace-snatching bastard a little dragon breathe. With me as the dragon of course. ..Only to realize,that not always does fire melt ice. Ice can extinguish the biggest fiery snores. Just like that. And it did in my case.
The speaker was Dhruv.The ice man himself. Reflexibly I tried to rearrange my expression. Unflare the nose, wipe the drool, tuck the hair on the side of my face,I was lying on,and I'll be as good as new.But it was just too late. Instead, I did a little sniff sniff.Who cares if he doesnt like how I look. I don't! At a loss of words.But I was a rebel . And gave him a portent narrow-eye. And returned to my golden age of drooling.Ahh...tha's betta...
But um, what exactly is happening here??? Where did the tears go??? The rain had stopped. There's nothing more beautiful than a rain-washed nature....fresh,new,...reborn.
The ghouls had swung
With the swing of a rusty pendulum,
Back in time,
Before she was born.
A new star had come up.
Not the old sun,
The horizon was red,and blue,and green
And shooting stars littered the dusk ,sheen.
For once she knew she didnt have a rebirth.
She was born from the child in her mind.
She was born ,now, never to die.

I went upto the roof, to join with the aerial celebration of freshness.
I wish my name was Aerial.... I know,I'm gonna name my first kid Aerial!But then what about the second? Surf Excel?! Nah! The father better suggest something good. And for that I'll need a worthy daddy.
Well, Dhruv was perfect... I remembered that time perfectly....
After that day at physics class, I had signed myself out of his fan-club. I despised him. He seemed to think so divinely of himself. Like he could trip a girl and get away with it 'cause he was too cute for it! Ugh! I hate that typo men!
And I did.
I hated his guts!
He struck me as a snob. With head too big for the shoulders!I would pass him in the corridors with heads held high. I would walk by his desk and let his pensils entangle in the straps of my backpack and hit the floor,and not even pick it up as courtesy! I would answer him in the most chilly tone I could assume,when my heart would be hammering in my rib cage.
But he was nice. Always.
Once I was struggling to cram in some of the fat books into my locker ,vainly, and got clumsy and frustrated and the books went crashing to the floor.And I stood there "AHHHH"-ing.
When, the books floated right back into my arms.
No wait.
Behind the levitating books peeped the cutest face in the whole damn school. Everyone's eye-candy.And my eye-sore.He had an almost apologetic expression. Well he should be,I hate him. The least he can do is feel sorry for himself. I,the, Queen Cleopatra (ok,maybe,her reincarnation,but dont let her mummy know,might come charging after me...who knows!) wasnt talking to the handsome little rascal! Anyways, I was gretful in my heart.Only I wasnt sure it was there in my body. I was pretty sure I had seen some red something sprout wings and fly!....Come to mama!
"What do you want? Dont you have some hair-rolls to put on or something,pretty boy!?"I said instead.
"Uh,I dont use them. Why do you? Cuz if you,they must be really bad!"
"How dare you call my rollers bad!??? You condescending no-good Mr. Know it all!?".My hands were on my hips. And I was only faintly aware of the gasps and gawps of the corridor inhabitants. I just remember one girl whose jaw practically dropped to the floor like Mask's does in the opening cartoon.Now here was a sight to witness and remember and retell to their children and grandchildren!P-a-thetic!
"Uh,no, just that your hair is all silky and straight, 'n' ...well nice, and rollers curls hairs don' they? So it practically has no effect on your hair...I think.I'm no expert..."...Dhruv's shrug and hesitance took me by surprise. Here was a guy who could practically get everyone down on their knees and chant his name,( even better,get them to chant funky modifications of their own names and add an appropriate tail to that like Maltnose-Hairylegs for Melissa Harolds,---hey dont look at me,its not like I'm just saying it,if I were him,I'd do the same thing!) which he didnt, and he was all worked up with shyness and timidity, and for what,talking to me. Me! Thats so sweet!
"Ok whatever it is you're trying to do,just dont. And my request. Get out of my face!"
Aw,look,I hurt his feelings! Why do I have to do that to everyone I want to get close to!
Somewhere in the vicinity was a smirk,that was only too familiar. I snapped towards the source.
Aha! Trisha!
She was observing me narrow-eyed...and,I had a vague feeling,she knew exactly what was going inside my head. She was the only visitor to that factory and was too smart to forget the mechanism of the machinery in a hurry. Oh no! She knows,I like Dhruv! But then,every girl does! But, I wasnt ...and,she knows perfectly well that I wasnt,...just every other girl!
Word was out. I felt like the freak people of a circus,like half-man,half-woman,or the three headed sisters or something.First of all I was one of the very few girls Dhruv had ever spoken to. And the only one who had scoffed at him when he tried to help! Speak,help,and being scoffed at. Three things anyone around would sacrifice their snoopy towels and new-age nintendo for! And I own the copywright for that accomplishment.
That day at about 6,when I was sitting at the dining table and doing homework, (the aroma of mom's cooking always stimulates my senses)when the phone rang. I was so busy with a maths problem,and even more in getting that cuticle out of my fingers, that I couldn't hear a thing.
"Honey,its yours...its ...Trisha"
Even mom's face was patently shocked! Now she had never had to frame that particular sentence,two,three,..last four years! This had to be one significant event!
"Er,hello?"I tried to tone down the bewilderment in my voice to zero degree celsius. But the temp was simply feverish.
"Hi, Al."O.K. Now,for the last four years she had always referred to me by my full name. Alison Johanus. What the hell was goin' on in here?
"Listen, I have a proposition. You get me Dhruv to notice me and I get you into the popularity section".

"What,but I don't wanna----"

"I dont mean,you have to wear clothes like us.I meant,I could just take the curse off you by giving the other girls,who're not even our group,a good word about you or something. We could even be friends. You wouldn't have to hang out with my friends.Just you name. Trisha's friend Alison.What do you say?"

"I say no.Did you seriously think I'd fall for this shit? Trish, you just never really knew me ,did you?"Oh my god,did I just call her Trish?As in without the tail 'a'??? And what am I talking about!? She definitely knows me better than...say,the next door tree!Like,Hello!?
That was that. We said goodbyes. She never tried to blackmail me,taunt me, or for that matter peruse any other tool to persuade me. Which I found shocking....and disappointing. I was looking for excitement in my boring life,man!But there was something odd about this.Trisha Varman was one of the most perfect packages in school, smart,pretty, know ,all that. I just didn't get it. Why,of all people would she need me to accomplice her on a male conquest!? She was perfectly adequate as it is....
Next day . Ashwini came up and offered me one of her trademark bubble-gums. Ok, not a bad start. At lunch,Don and Mon,( thats Danny and Mona,the twins) came to sit by me,and started a conversation on music. Thank you, music goddess for being so wonderful and unhateable,that I actually listen to your creation.I swear I will cease being a atheist for you!And pretty soon were joined by Sona and her boy friend Agni,and Asthha and Bidyut. After the bell rang, my desk,which I never leave during the break,and I have been using for the last few months ,had like a total make-over. And I could only look at it littered with crumbs and spilled juice,with a fond satisfaction,like a mother smothering her daughter on her prom night or something! Oh look,our little girl's all woman now!
A girl passed by and waved at me. I smiled back. Um,wait,I think I know her....English? No...P.E.from last year?
A boy passed by and yo-ed. I raised a pinky-horn at him. Ok,that guy was totally cute. And I had crushed on him last year. Only what was his name...? Jesus,doesn't anyone have a name in this place???
A third girl catwalked by.
"Hi...!"...then I snapped back.
Trisha! Saying hi to me? This has got to be a dream!
I stood there pinned to the spot. My head spinning clockwise and my brain anticlickwise. Dazedly I made my way for the enviromentals class,overcoming a little hindrance in the form of a bubble-gum stuck to my shoe-sole (ok,that might just explain why I was rooted to the spot even when my head had been spinning at cyclonic rate!)
Environmental science.Today was the day we begun our work on our project. That was the first one of the compulsory four,which would account for 40f our total score. Not that I cared. My only motive was to keep the thermodynamic status at home down to real low degrees. Class was to be split into twos and each group assigned with a particular subject.
I glanced around the classroom. Almost everyone had their fingers crossed and muttered some name---either someone they desperately wanted to be with,or mostly somethey they even more desperately didn't want to be with. It amused me. I'd be with whoever Suman Ma'm might couple me with.
"Okay people. Pair up. We're not going by any books. Since you dont get to chose your topics,we're letting you chose your partners. Pair up,pair up,hurry, I'm not getting any younger...or thinner!"Suman Ma'm boomed,to popular laughter. Thats what she does. She never talks. She booms.And she was supposed to be teaching us about causes of noise-pollution eh? But she was a cool teacher. But I was in so not any mood for jokes.
This was a nightmare! I scrutinized the classroom again. This time far from amused. Everyone had exhaled sighs of relief,Hi5-ed or joined hands. These days even couples Hi5s. Couples and friends are hard to tell apart. And I mean even in terms of only male or only female bonding!
This was bad. Really bad. I knew I would be left with the nerd of the class whom no one wanted to be with. They preferred to admire him from a distance. But who wants to get close to that! Is he even human?And what is up with that oil-mine of a head! Bush,here's an easy target for you. Bomb this dude,and no one will even complain! I know I wont!Shame his mom loves him.
I wondered if I could talk Suman Ma'm into making an exception in my case and let me go solo.
"What're we waiting for, lets chart our common times to reasearch this thing. What have we got. Tree-dewlling animals. Right. Are you free on Wednesdays?"
Ok,I wouldn't even "Oh My Gosh" this time. Yeah. You guessed right. Trisha. She had apparently volunteered to be my partner. This day was getting creepier by the second.
"What do you want Verman?"I demanded of Trisha taking extra care to pronounce that like vermin! I had sickened myself to my stomach,watching Little Miss Perfect twinddling with her pink fluffy pen and murmuring days ,as she drew out our schedule to put our heads together for the project, more like to squeeze it in between her manicure appoinment and a date with her second cousin. Hey,dont look at me,those are the rumours!
"Uh,what--what?"She looked up from twiddling the fluffy end of her fluffy pen (where does she get those?CottonCandys-r-Us?),absently.
"You know what I mean? What are you doing? Why are you partnering ME? I'm not dumb! I see---"
"Okay! Okay! ...Jes..."She coughed. And doubled up. I had stretched out my hands reflexibly,but she left her chair and retreated towards the wall,facing it,while the bout abated.
"Excuse me!"Her composure was back in place,despite the bright scarlet patches on her face from the pressure.Then she gave me a odd look. And began,"Ok,I want Dhruv,is that what you wanted to hear? Fine,there it is. Right in the open.Ya happy now?"

"Yes,I mean,NO! Thats not the point! I told you I am NOT interested.So you can stop being all nice to me,cuz it wont work a shit.And---" I unncessarily raised the sheet of paper she was working on and replaced it about two abscissa away from its orginal coordinates, "----and you can take your project and join your skimpy friend over there. Cuz ,whatever you're trying to do ain't gonna work." was getting worked up and melodramatic.Whew!
"No,I'm not."

"Yeah right! How dumb do you think I am exac--"
"I meant"She cut in, "---that I'm not going to do the project with my skimpy friend...."
"Oh? Oh!"O.K. That caught me off-guard.I weighed my options. On one hand,working with Trisha would eliminate the dire likelihood of having to survive one month trapped with a oil-tanker. On the other,I had a eerie feeling about this whole Trisha's come-back.If this is a come-back at all that is... It was official. This day couldn't possibly get more confusing. And even more...fateful.
She stepped across.
Through the frozen fire,
Past the blue moors,
Over the red hillocks,
Onto the sandy shores,
She had stepped across.
Into a world of the quaint.
Where the dire would paint,
And the fairies would water her temple-tree.
That hand she had held,
On her lover's trail,
It had no name, just a futurity.
It had no address,just the present touch,
It had no kin,
Just a home-coming past.
And she awaited till the day would be,
She could walk barefoot over the sea,
She could feel the windy graze,
And she would know,
At the heart of her maze,
She was,she wasn't a mere she,
She was on the porch,today,
Come what day ,may,
Come she had, on the porch of her destiny.
Had no one felt this way before?
When today seem to slowly unfold,
When the carpet would roll,
Down the stairs
, Land at your feet in a single layer?
Like the future and past ,
Her all firsts and lasts,
Her known and unknown,
Her mown and unsown,
All at a flicker,
Would threat and dare,
And love and laugh,
In one single flare.
That drizzle would then seem fateful,
And that soft fall of the petal...
That she wished she could have held,
With its sisters,in her palm.
And in her palm,the world,for her,
Would seem to graze,the world around the worlds,
And on her day, she is a world,
A woman,a girl, And right now,right today,
Come what may,
Shut out your vision and you will see,
You are at the porch of your destiny.


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